Oh-Deeh's Comments

With a little imagination, that's actually pretty hot. Can I say that on here?

Where's the "Eugene Mirman" tag?

Awww... it's cut short! And now it's missing some of the best lines.

If there isn't already, there should be a "WTF!?" tag, here on M&C. And if there is, this deserves it.

truth in advertising + 2000 Bush bumper sticker = the above line

Original cast!!

Man, my brothers and I used to video tape these every week, and watch them on Sunday after church. Good times. Thanks for the memories.

I got way too drunk one night in the Bowery area of NYC. I was on my own, and pissed off about something, so I stupidly went and drank my brains out. When I came to from what must have been a very long period of blacking out, I was on the subway--I think in Harlem--and I was apparently acting like this guy, from the look on everyone else's faces.

Now, here's what I learned from this little incident: it's not a bad way to protect yourself. Normally, I would have felt pretty damn vulnerable on a subway in Harlem at 4 in the morning. But I was the one that everyone else was worried about, including the thug-looking tough guys. Acting like a mad-man, it turns out, can save your ass. It just helps if you're drunk enough to truly commit to the character.

Ooh! Ooh! You mean how during the Iran/Iraq War, the Iranians noticed dead/captured Iraqis were holding the same US-made weapons that they had? Yeah, that was great. Good times.

...Unfortunately, though, we got more than the 'Pipe Full of Fun' gag, as a result of our hoodwinking.

Irony! My only weakness! How did you know?! With pungent, sardonic ad hominem like that, I have no choice but to feel that you have put me in my place. Really, though, thanks for taking me down a peg or two; I wouldn't want to get too big for my britches, or to lose sight of what's really important. Like, I'm guessing... buying a new colored chain for my fixie? Or discussing, maybe, what thrift stores in town have the best deals on tight pants? Am I close?

Ha ha! ...Oh, you.

Not every German was a Nazi. Many Germans, if not most, were ignorant about the concentration camps. If anything, the average German citizen was guilty of about as much as the average Californian was when we shipped Japanese Americans off to concentration camps. History doesn't damn the Third Reich because they invaded Poland; we curse them because they gassed millions of people. Most Germans felt that the onset of the blitzkrieg was a reclamation of what was taken from Germany after the first world war. Indeed, America warned France and England from forcing such severe reparations on Germany for the very reason that it might unite Germans against the rest of Europe. I could go on about that last paragraph of yours, but instead I'll just shake my head and laugh because you failed to take my advice. Way to prove Godwin's law, twice in one discussion.

And it is a little annoying to hear even sympathetic hearts bleed for the poor, ignorant wretches who are forced by their lot in life to serve in the military. I myself came from a family that could afford to send me to college, and I easily could have slept my way through state school. But I enlisted not because I was desperate, but because I wanted discipline, and because it was such an obvious way to give back to the country that has taken such good care of me. What's more, I was hardly a rarity, either. It's true that I've met some real block-heads in the Army, but I've also met some brilliant, well-to-do enlisted men and women who signed up because they simply felt like they should do their part, as well.

Ok, a lot of kids--and plenty of other essentially innocent people--have died in Iraq. But to blame the guy on the ground, rather than focus on the leadership like we ought to, is to exacerbate the problem, rather than solve it. It's that sort of attitude that allowed us to make a circus of the Abu Ghraib hearings while the leadership who truly dropped the ball in preventing that mess got away. And maybe a minority of service members are out to claim as many slaves for the afterlife as possible, but most soldiers and marines are like my friend who can't sleep because he sees that same Iraqi kid (that one who ran past his tank with some American Willy P burning a hole through his face) every time he closes his eyes. That is to say, most are just coping with what they're asked to do. Most are doing no more or less than taking care of the guy next to him or her. And I doubt that there are any more sociopaths running around wearing American uniforms than there are wearing suits and ties.

If we weren't "bent on cooperate servitude" then we wouldn't sign up in the first place? Can you back that up? Or did you once again pull some fantastic crap out of your ass? In fact, there are quite a few like myself, who enlisted despite the possibility of cooperate servitude, but I don't know anyone who signed up because of it. And we were also the ones that have enough faith in the American democracy to believe that people would do more than post smarmy comments on internet forums in order to protect us from such corporate servitude. You didn't let us down, did you PH? Or do these inane posts you leave on this site really represent the extent of what you've done to ensure the commitment our service members made will never be taken for granted?

If the latter truly is the case, please don't bother replying to my comment; I'm not going to waste any more time on you if this is just your little way of making yourself feel better. If you truly are a pacifist, and you simply could never support violence, then I at least want to know what you've done--besides leaving shoddily crafted arguments on Milk and Cookies--to ensure our democracy isn't taken for granted.

Thanks. I don't think this is the first time we've tipped hats at each other on here. If you're ever in Austin, Tx, please let me know, and I'll buy you a beer.

My in-laws wanted to know what I wanted for Christmas, so I told them I'd love to have that electronic sudoku game that they never use. I think the idea of wanting a second-hand gift perplexed them. I won't be surprised if I get a brand-new, even fancier electronic sudoku game from them, instead. Really, though, I'd be very pleased to take the one that's currently gathering dust in their junk drawer. The one that they both bemoaned as something they'll never use.

I was smiling the whole time; I give a lot of credit to people who'll sit down for an ironic, mock-interview like this. And Hamm does really well maintaining the straight-man in this routine.

But that last line made me laugh so hard my dogs ran to me to make sure I was alright! Galifianakis has a genius for the subtle timing that's so essential in alternative comedy.

Obviously, any instance of the word "protector" in this post should be replaced with "protester." My apologies for typing without my glasses.

Clearly, that "black-and-white" world view that I mentioned above can be just as ridiculous, and possibly even more dangerous, in the hands of a dissenter as if it were in the hands of a conformist. Way to over-simplify things in the name of ignorant, righteous indignation.

First, you don't know where wickedray served; we don't know that he or she served in Vietnam or Iraq.

Second, you don't even know what he or she did there. Would you still condemn someone for working in a field hospital to patch up those wounded by an unjust war?

Third, you should probably pick up some literature on this subject before you condemn someone's service outright. I would suggest Jean Elshtain's "Just War Theory," as a good starting point. Because even if wickedray volunteered to serve in the infantry during the Vietnam War, and even if we take it as a given that it was an unjust war, it's still possible that he could have undertaken purely just actions. I know that takes a higher order of abstract thought to accept, but I promise it is possible. Want an example of what just action can mean in the face of egregious injustice? Look up what Hugh Clowers Thompson Jr. did in My Lai, and then ask yourself how you feel about him. I don't know shit about wickedray. But what I do know is that while not every soldier has the moral courage to do what Thompson did, not every soldier is as morally bankrupt as William Calley, and you'd do well to remember that before you blindly shit on someone's service.

And here are some other pointers for the next time you start making protesters look even worse than you already have, kid:

Statements like, "Everyone here agrees that..." shifts the onus of proof away from yourself, when you have to realize that absolutes are incredibly easy to break down in an argument. I myself don't think we should have ever gone into Iraq, and I can cite countless instances of mismanagement during this war, but you'll never hear me tell someone that the war is one big "illegal genocidal war crime."

Also, you should challenge yourself to avoid the "reductio ad Hitlerum," argument if for no other reason than it just takes so little imagination to find any weak connection to Hitler or the Nazis. Also, there's that pesky little problem of watering down the significance of their atrocities more and more with each sloppy Nazi reference.